4 Dyslexia Support Myths That Don't Help Long-Term!

Here's what's happening in the dyslexia support world that honestly makes me a little baffled: we sometimes focus on all the wrong things.

Tutors are being praised for getting kids to "grade level" reading and then... that's it. Schools are patting themselves on the back for providing accommodations that barely scratch the surface. Parents are being told to "wait and see" if their child will catch up. Meanwhile, kids are slipping through the cracks because nobody is talking about what matters for long-term success. If you're a parent who has followed all the "expert" advice and your child is still struggling, there might be a reason why.

What if I told you that almost everything you've been told about supporting dyslexic children is focused on the wrong timeline?

Here's what gets celebrated: "Johnny learned to read! Success!" "Sarah's accommodations helped her pass grade 3! Victory!" "We caught it early and got some tutoring! Problem solved!"

But here's what nobody wants to talk about: what happens in grade 7 when Johnny still can't advocate for himself? What about when Sarah gets to high school and doesn't know how to ask for help? What about when kids reach university and have no idea how to navigate support systems?

After watching my boys go through this system, and then seeing it from the inside during my seven years in school governance, I can tell you that we're measuring success at completely the wrong points in these kids' lives.

Maybe you've felt this too—that nagging worry that the "success" everyone's celebrating doesn't feel like your child is set up for long-term thriving.

So let me break down the four biggest pieces of advice that I see parents getting all the time—advice that sounds reasonable but is setting families up to struggle longer than they need to.

I've seen these myths play out over and over again, both with my boys and through my years in school governance. And every time I see a family following this conventional wisdom, I just want to say, "Please stop. There's a better way."

The first myth: "Let's wait and see if they catch up. Maybe they're just developing differently. Don't rush into anything."

Here's what happens when parents don't jump on learning differences quickly: the student falls behind. The "wait and see" philosophy is honestly a terrible idea. The student gets more and more behind, they lose their confidence, they slowly back away from their social group, and they fall further and further behind in their learning.

Even here in Canada, where we have pretty progressive special education policies, I still see families being told to "give it another year" or "let's see how they do in the next grade."

By the time everyone agrees there's a problem, that child has spent months or years thinking they're not smart. You can't get that time back.

I've seen kids who could have been supported in grade 1 but weren't identified until grade 4. By then, it's not just about reading—it's about rebuilding an entire sense of self-worth.

The second myth that frustrates me is "Once they can read at grade level, the dyslexia support can stop. Mission accomplished!"   

What I have learned is that it is a marathon or maybe even a triathlon, not a sprint. It's not just about learning to read—it's about building accommodations and supports throughout your child's school career. The support has to continue long after the student learns to read and well past elementary school. Triathlons have three legs with transitions between each one.  First leg - learning to read, then transitioning to “reading to learn” in middle school.  The final leg is……..high school.  High school is the biggest transition and the toughest leg to get through.  This is where the rubber hits the road, and your child’s accommodations can make or break their race to the finish line.  It is critical to keep all their options open for their next stage of life. I can't tell you how many families I've met who got their child to "grade level" reading in elementary school, thought they were done, and then hit a wall in middle school when the academic demands changed completely.

Maybe you've experienced this—your child seemed to be doing better, everyone said they were "caught up," but then new challenges appeared as they got older.

Reading the words is just the foundation. What about reading comprehension under time pressure? What about writing essays? What about knowing how to ask for extra time on a test when they need it?

Here's the third myth that I hear all the time: "Just get your child good tutoring and everything will work out. The parents don't need to be involved beyond finding the right tutor."

What I realized is that nobody is doing this work. Some people help teach children to read, but they don't work on the whole child or address what's happening with the family when children have learning challenges.

When you have a dyslexic child, it affects everyone. There are homework battles. There are emotional meltdowns. There are school meetings where you feel completely lost. There's the stress of not knowing if you're doing the right thing. It can be difficult on the whole family, not to mention the financial demands of supporting a child with a learning difference.

How many times have you sat in your car after a school meeting feeling like you didn't ask the right questions or advocate strongly enough for your child?

It's not enough to help the child. Parents need to understand how dyslexia works, how to navigate the education system, how to incorporate a unique discipline into their child’s life, and how to support their child emotionally throughout this journey.

And here's the fourth myth that needs to be called out: "These standard accommodations should work for any dyslexic student. We have a list, just pick what applies."

In BC schools, we have some great standard accommodations. Extra time, access to formulas, alternative formats, and assistive technology. But here's what I learned from my years of supporting my boys through high school and university, my governance experience and my work as an Orton-Gillingham tutor: accommodations only work when they're matched to what that specific child needs.

Your child might need extra time for reading, but not for math. They might benefit from audiobooks but not from voice-to-text software. They might need movement breaks, but not a separate room for testing. When we just apply the standard list without understanding how your child learns and what they need, we're not supporting them—we're just checking boxes.

So here's what I've learned that changes everything: successful dyslexia support isn't about following a checklist—it's about understanding that kids go through different stages as they grow, and what they need shifts at each stage.

After going through this journey with my boys and seeing so many families through my governance work, I started noticing this pattern: families who do well seem to understand something that struggling families don't—that what works in elementary school won't work in high school.

I've noticed there are three stages that kids go through, and most families get stuck because they're trying to use strategies from one stage when their child has already moved to the next one. Maybe you've felt this—like you're doing all the right things, but they're not working the way you expected. That's usually because what your child needs has shifted, but nobody told you to shift with them.

In the early years, what I've seen work is focusing on two things: helping kids learn to read while making sure they don't start thinking they're not smart.

Most families think this stage is just about catching up academically. But what I learned with my boys is that you're preventing the confidence crash that happens if kids spend years thinking there's something wrong with them.

Kids who get through elementary school understanding that they learn differently—not that they're broken—become kids who ask for help instead of hiding their struggles later on.

This is where I see most families hit a wall. The student can read now, but suddenly there are new challenges, and parents don't know whether to keep advocating or step back.

What I learned with my boys is that this is when you need to start teaching them to speak up for themselves. If you wait until grade 11 to start this, you've missed the window. By the end of high school, your child should be able to walk into a teacher's office and say, "I understand the material, but I need extra time to show what I know on tests." That doesn't happen naturally—it's something they learn by watching you advocate, then gradually taking over.

This is where you really see whether all that support worked. Can your child navigate university disability services? Can they ask for accommodations in their first job?

Both my boys are doing this successfully in university now. Not because their dyslexia went away, but because they learned how to get the support they need without me making the calls.

Whether they're heading to university, college or any school across Canada, they need to know how to access support independently.

Here's what I wish I'd known earlier about timing, and what I tell parents now, depending on where their child is.

If your child is still young, start with how you talk about their learning. Instead of saying "This is hard for you," try "Your brain learns differently, so we're going to find the way that works best for you." That one shift changed everything for my boys.

You're building their identity as someone who solves problems, not someone who has problems.

If your child is in middle or high school, start including them in some of those school meetings. Even if it's just for 10 minutes, let them hear you advocate for them, then talk about it afterward. Ask them, "What did you notice? What questions do you have?"

You're teaching them how to do what you've been doing for them.

If your child is almost done with high school, this might sound scary, but stop making all the calls. Help them figure out what they want to say, practice it with them, then let them make the call while you're there for support.

You're shifting from being their advocate to being their consultant.

The key is figuring out where your child is in this progression and what they actually need to develop next, not just what the school is telling you to focus on.

This is how my boys made it successfully to university with the confidence to ask for what they need. Not because we followed all the conventional advice, but because we understood that what they needed kept changing as they grew. They need to ultimately be responsible for their education. They need to own their education and they had to become strong self-advocates.

When families understand this natural progression, they stop feeling like they're always behind and start feeling like they're building something that will last. Truly, your child’s marks in grade 5 or 6 will never see the light of day going forward, but if they learn to be strong self-advocates, then they will be confident to take control of their education when it really matters. Using this precious time to build their self-advocacy skills and their confidence is far more important for their future success.